Millennium Tongzhou vitality north streamRuler of the world
I. Impact of advertising
The teacher conducted a serious review and mobilization before the exam. When it comes to excitement, saliva is really flying all over the sky.
Teacher: "Our review goal is--"
"No—yes— 蛀 — 牙 —!"
Common points of historical figures
The first session of the afternoon was a history lesson, and the teacher talked with interest in class.
A student named San Mao was lying on the desk and screaming, and the teacher was so angry that he called San Mao.
The teacher asked: What do Wang Anshi and Ouyang Xiu have in common?
San Mao blurted out: They were all from the Song Dynasty.
The teacher then asked: What do you have in common with Tang Taizong and Zhuge Liang?
San Mao froze and replied: They are all ancients.
There was a burst of laughter in the classroom. The teacher would be wrong, and simply playing as a game was still active in class. So he asked: Do they have anything in common with Sun Yat-sen and Lu Xun?
San Mao thought about it and said: They are all men.
The teacher then asked: What if Li Qingzhao and Cixi were added?
San Mao was anxious: He and they were all Chinese.
The teacher smiled and asked: What else do Napoleon and Caesar have in common?
San Mao: They have all been emperors.
The teacher asked: What do they have in common with Darwin and Hitler?
San Mao had already learned the trick at this time, and he proudly replied: They are all foreigners.
The teacher pressed again: What do they have in common with the people I mentioned earlier?
Three hairs and one pole are in the end: they are all human.
The teacher asked again: As far as I know, among these people, Zhuge Liang raised chickens, Cixi and Caesar also raised dogs. Do these animals count, do they have something in common with them?
The teacher asked, and San Mao's head began to sweat: this ... they and they were all dead.
Well, they are all dead. The teacher nodded.
Sanmao's legs were soft, and she sat down, thinking, should the problem be over?Asphalt 8 cracked version
Unexpectedly, the teacher said: You stand up, there is one last question ...
If they and they are still alive, can they find common ground?
San Mao was dumbfounded. After thinking about it for five minutes, he cried and said: If it is not the time difference, they and they should have had lunch.
Three. 10 extreme brain residual moments
1. When I first used QQ, I didn't know much. During a chat, netizens asked me: How to upgrade QQ software? I do n’t know how to pretend. Answer: You uninstalled the old one first, and I will tell you how to do it! So, half a minute later, the netizen's head turned gray. Since then, this person has disappeared ...
2. I was very brave and brave when I was young. Once in the kindergarten, the doctor gave us a vaccine, and the teacher blew on the side to teach: "Which kid is brave, let us see where the bravest kid is. Here? "After asking for a long time, no one ignored her. Everyone pulled back, and then I saw I strode to the doctor. The teacher said happily, "Still XXX is the bravest ..." After all the words, I saw that I grabbed all the needles and needles on the table and threw them out of the window. (This is what my father told me when I was growing up)
3. Everyone loves to wear gloves when riding a bus in winter, so that I wo n’t feel boned when holding the cold handrails, but I do n’t have this habit. I never wear gloves. When I take a bus once, two people come up The middle-aged woman who is sloppy, when there is no one talking loudly, she listens to one of them: "It's almost the Spring Festival, there are so many thieves, and you pay more attention to thieves." I do n’t wear gloves for the cold, just for the convenience of work ... ”After I heard it, I was all without gloves.
4. We practiced in the Fifth Academy. At a time, 7 brothers went out for dinner, and they had a quarrel with 3 young gangsters, which then evolved into brawls. The three young gangsters were beaten by us. Later they were sent to the 5th hospital. When we got the news, they immediately put on a white coat and rushed over. When the three of them saw that the doctor standing in front of them was the one who had just scratched their heads, the desperate expression on their faces ... It was unforgettable in this life!
5. In a jewelry store, I want to buy a silver bracelet, which is a large ring shape. When I see a satisfactory one, the clerk will show it to me and ask me if I want to buy it or give it away , I said I bought it. I asked if I would try it again, and I would compare it on my wrist. If I did n’t have to try it, I would compare it. The clerk once again asked me if I should buy it myself or give it away. Try it for yourself! I said I bought it! Then try it! So I started to put on my hands, and the clerk looked at me in surprise (I didn't see this, because I tried hard to put that bracelet on my hands). After a few tens of seconds, the clerk finally understood and said, Miss, this is an earring.
6. In a math class in junior high school, the teacher was talking about a classic proof of geometry. When he talked about the wonderful things, the teacher pointed at the blackboard with a pointer and said with a deep baritone: "Please pay attention!" Suddenly, there was a sweet sound outside. The female voice replied: "Reverse!" Everyone was shocked! It turned out that a truck was reversing outside the window, and it automatically played "Please note, reversing!" The whole class burst into laughter.
7. I once came out of the market and took a small bus. There were a lot of people, so I just supported a vertical bar (metal type). There are many people, and the car is constantly shaking. I suddenly noticed that the pole I supported also wobbled with the car. I thought that the car was shaking so hard that even the pole could shake. After a stop like this, many people got out of the car, and I realized that what I had been holding was a mop with a metal rod. A woman held a mop in one hand, held a child in one hand, and stared at me.
8. At noon, I ate at a martial arts style restaurant, where the taste is general and the price is relatively cheap. The characteristic is that there is martial arts style in everything. The customer is called the guest officer, and the waiter is called the second child. The name of the dish is also martial arts style, the braised pork trotters are the eighteen palms of the dragon, and the lamb pot is called Jiuyang Shengong. At noon, when Jiuyang Divine Gong was eaten, a small strong man ran around the table. When he was angry, he called Xiao Er to come over. Xiao Er shouted at the first sight: there are assassins!
9. Once, I was walking on the street and suddenly received a phone call from a friend, so I went chatting with him. After brushing around with a few people, I subconsciously reached for my trousers and found that my phone was gone. I haven't touched my body up and down (how could it be, sweat ~), I rushed into sweat, so I shouted at my friend: Oh! My phone is gone! Fainted.
10. Once, because I had to contact a classmate because of something, but his number was not stored in the mobile phone, he texted another classmate who knew him well, "Is there a phone number for XXX?" Then waited patiently for a reply, 5 Minutes later, I finally received a reply, can't wait to open the text message, and utterly said, "Yes". In desperation, I could only send another text message to the elder brother, "So, please tell me?" I waited for another five minutes and received a reply. I couldn't wait to open it again. : "Okay!"Woman classroom Woman line
Daily learning (tiantxuexi)