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Behind all stubborn bad habits is the lack of love

Public Account: High School Mathematics Xu Xuanqing Source: Time: 2020-02-21 01:53:19

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Parents often worry that their bad habits will let their children learn. For example, the father is drunk, and the relationship between the couple is very poor. The mother can't help educating the son. Your father is a bastard. You must not learn from him. My son was very good when he was a kid. He did n’t touch tobacco and alcohol. After marriage, he suddenly started drinking and even hit his wife. There are many examples. Because every child is naturally eager to accept parents emotionally. If consciously is not allowed, the subconscious will compensate, and the subconscious is dominating behavior, so it becomes behaviorally identified with the father.

Obama's father can really be said to be a "jerk". He abandoned his wife and son. Obama's mother relied on relief money to support her son alone, but her mother didn't tell her son that your dad is not a thing. If you abandon me, you must not love him. Instead, the mother kept telling the son that your dad was the prince of Africa and sang very well, very talented and so on. His mother encouraged his son to identify with his father. Obama really became a manly "king" with a stable family and no abandonment of his wife and son.

Parents do not need to be perfect. Each parent has its own "bad habits." The reason why they are what they are today is their own reasons and willingness to take responsibility for this. This does not affect mutual respect and love. If an alcoholic father loves his child more, and the mother encourages the child to accept such a father, the child will get the feeling that the person with the biggest disadvantage will also love me, and it is worthy of my respect. Children gain broad and flexible relationships. There are defects in behaviors and different opinions. It's okay. The key is to give children such confidence, no matter how much love exists.

If there is sufficient love and mobility, the child's good habits will naturally appear without training. A truly beautiful character is the most natural choice for the soul after getting enough love and permission. For example, independence, each life comes with its own mission, the mother often responds positively to the baby, and strives to be satisfied. The baby can completely attach to the mother. When he grows up, he will slowly and confidently explore the world with his head and complete his soul. duty of. If you insist on helping, your child still thinks you are hindering yourself.

On the contrary, children have been trained to be independent from childhood and cannot rely on parents. Children may be stuck in helplessness and uneasiness all their lives, always looking for attachment satisfaction, and have no energy to realize themselves. Besides tolerance, babies are aggressive, and it seems unreasonable for adults to think about it. If the mother can hold the baby's attack, the child will feel that the attack is OK, and I am worthy of showing offensiveness, and the child grows up Hou naturally is tolerant and friendly to others, and at the same time will be full of strength to defend himself.

Besides speaking of reasonable requirements, if children are often fulfilled in time, they have a certain sense of "getting" in their hearts, and will not be fulfilled immediately because of the fear of not getting. The older you grow, the more you can safely wait for the right time and make reasonable demands. How did bad habits develop? Parents often worry about their children being addicted to online games, thinking that regardless of him today, he will be addicted to nothing in the future.

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I used to fall in love with video games when I was in the second grade of elementary school. Now it seems that my parents are really amazing. My mother never stopped them. My father even took the initiative to pull me. I was so addicted to it for a year, and my grades dropped from the first place in the class. My parents didn't worry about it. They still played with me happily. Later, our whole family had enough to play. Feeling very satisfied. From middle school to college, I don't have a cold on the online games that my classmates are obsessed with. I play it occasionally and can afford to put it down.

Behind all stubborn bad habits is the pain of lack of love. Those who really indulge in games for a long time and affect their normal working life must lack the ability to feel free and happy in interpersonal communication in reality. Games, however, can bring a sense of control and virtual socializing. The real world is far more interesting than the virtual world, but why don't we dare to enter the real world?

As a baby, the mother is the entire world. If the mother can "see" the baby, the baby can embrace the whole world and dare to experience the real life when grown up. If children are severely lacking in love and attention, they will continue to experience setbacks in the real world, shrinking more and more, and finally shrinking into a secure online world. So the deepest voice behind Internet addiction is, "I long to be seen by my mother, but I'm too desperate."

High School Mathematics Xu Xuanqing (gh_9f6afdf73f18)

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